


Season 13 CODAs

by silvie111



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Beware when a Cas!Girl is on Hiatus, Depression, Destiel as dinosaurs, Dinosaur!AU, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, The Empty, crack Destiel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 01:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12853764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvie111/pseuds/silvie111





	Season 13 CODAs

## 13x04 CODA "The Trial"

_Good morning, your honor_

_The crown will plainly show_

_The prisoner who now stands before you_

_Was caught red-handed showing feelings_

_Showing feelings of an almost human nature_

_This will not do_

 

Who is this? Hello? Where am I? What is happening? What is happening to me? There is only black and nothing. But what is this voice in my head? Is it you, Father? Oh no, you left years ago, ages, eons. This cannot be you.

And what do you say? I am guilty of showing feelings?

Feelings. Human feelings.

Yes. I am guilty of that. But I love that I can feel like a human. And I hate that I feel like it. Why was I born like this? No other angel is like me. No other angel has been born with that abnormality. It was an evil mood of nature making me like that. Or did you make me like that on purpose, Father? And why? Do you like me suffering?

I still remember so well when I was human. It felt strange. The hunger and thirst was almost unbearable. I felt it aching through my whole body. The hunger ate my brain. And it was annoying, too. Like all that peeing? Are you serious? How can you live like that, you humans? And I remember the gush of light that went through my body when I was in bed with April. It felt so good. But I learnt that I was too naive back then. Was it wrong to feel like that? Of course it was wrong. But how would it feel … with … Dean? Would it be the same? If I can be a human for just one day again I want to experience those feelings with him. Would …

No, those thoughts are not allowed.

I am an angel.

 

_I always said he’d come to no good_

_In the end your honor_

_If they’d let me have my way I could_

_Have flayed him into shape_

_But my hands were tied_

_The bleeding hearts and artists_

_Let him get away with murder_

_Let me hammer him today?_

 

You are in my head. You are only in my head. But you are me? You always came to me in my darkest hours. You always crushed me when I was happy, when I wanted to do good. I remember the days when all those dark souls where inside me. I just wanted to fight, I was a soldier, I had to win a war. And when I saw what I have done I took the consequences. I drowned myself, but you were so cruel to let me live. You let me survive. Why, but why?

“ _I know who you hate. I know who you love.”_

Have _you_ done this or was it my decision? To let the trench coat float out of the water, directly into Dean’s direction? No, you wouldn’t have done such things. It was me. It was my own choice. I reached out for him, I cried for help to him. I know he loves me, he is the only one. And again, I was caught showing feelings, even as an angel-Leviathan-abomination. Everything was just feelings then. Everything was Dean. And he kept my trench coat. When we saw each other again, he …

No, those thoughts are not allowed.

I am a warrior of God.

 

_You little shit you’re in it now_

_I hope they throw away the key_

_You should have talked to me more often_

_Than you did, but no_

_You had to go_

_Your own way_

 

The power of free will. Why have you shown me this, Dean? I should have remained an angel soldier, that was what I was born to. I was a commander, a leader, I had a whole garrison of brothers, I had my orders and everything was perfectly normal.

“ _Oh, no, it wasn’t.”_

What’s that strange voice in my head? Who are you, your voice sounds like mine but also like scratching fingernails on a chalkboard. This is hurting me.

Oh my God, you are right. Nothing was normal, even back then. I have witnessed everything. I have witnessed the fall of man from paradise and even in that early hour … I felt. I felt pity for mankind. I was always like that, I was born false. Dean did not wake the free will in me, the human, it was there from the very beginning.

And God said “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that the light was good.

And God separated the light from the darkness.

And there was me, in that first hour of everything. And I felt.

Why, God, why?

 

_Come to mother baby, let me hold you_

_In my arms_

_I never wanted him to_

_Get in any trouble_

_Why’d he ever have to leave me?_

_Your honor, let me take him home_

 

Home. I want to go home. I want to see the light again. I want to feel. It is my choice. I am like that, and it is good. I am not evil, I am not like the others. I am no ordinary angel. I am …

I am Castiel.

Do you hear me, you terrible annoying strange judge? I am Castiel. I am not like them. I have a home. And it is not here, it is not in heaven, it is not on earth.

It is … Dean.

My home is Dean.

You hear me?

Come on! Fight me! Show me your face, stand up! Let me fight you. I will fight you for eternity. I will be free again, I will go home again.

Release me. Show me your face!

 

_The evidence before the court is_

_Incontrovertible, there’s no need for_

_The jury to retire_

_In all my years of judging_

_I have never heard before_

_Of someone more deserving_

_Of the full penalty of law_

_The way you made them suffer_

_Fills me with the urge to defecate_

_Since, my friend, you have revealed your_

_Deepest fear_

_I sentence you to be exposed before_

_Your peers_

_Tear down the wall_

 

There you are. You are me. I always knew you were me. I am my worst enemy. But I will still fight you. There is good in me, I am not pure evil, there is still good in me, and there is still strength in me.

“ _Leave me alone. I just want to sleep. I need sleep.”_

Oh, I know. I know. That feeling is just too good. I just want to lay down and sleep for eternity. No worries, no responsibilities, no suffering, no feelings. How sweet that sounds. You’ll never know how tempting that thought is for me.

But I won’t do that.

I will fight.

I will fight you.

There is still good in me.

I will return home.

To Dean.

He needs me. He loves me.

I know who loves me.

There is so much for me back there.

There is everything for me back there.

Tear down the wall.

Tear down the wall.

Tear down the wall.

 

**RELEASE ME.**

 

 

 

**13x05 CODA "Hello Dean"**

“Hello, Dean. Erm … It’s me, Cas. Castiel. I- I just- … how to put this … I just wanted to say… I’m back. I am alive. I was dead, I was really dead. I was dead in the Empty, but now I am here again. I fought my way back. Because you need me. It’s really me. I know what you must think. You must think I am a kind of monster, shapeshifter, a Jefferson Starship or how else you call those monsters? No, it’s really me. Your Cas. Miraculously I have been reincarnated. Now, please let us meet. I want to see you again. I think you need me, you and Sam. You need my help. So, wherever you are. Come quickly … Did you understand me? Dean? Is the connection broken or something? Dean? Dean? Are you still on the phone …?”  

 

 

**13x09 CODAs "The Dinosaur!AU"**

_Episode 1. The one where Dean and Cas are dinosaurs_

[Originally posted by rhetthammersmithhorror](https://tmblr.co/ZpP7ct2JEKOK_)

##  **“Hello Dean!”**

 

**Dean: “Now I’m the one who grips you tight and raises you from perdition.”**

**Castiel: “Finally! After all these years!”**

**Dean: “What’s with the new coat????”**

**Castiel: “I got lost of the baby bump. Now I can wear normal clothes again, not that old maternity potato bag trench any more!”**

**Castiel: “It’s the Winchester evangelium.”**

**Sister Jo: “Your love is pure and not a sin. God approves. NOW KISS!!!!!!”**

 

 

_Episode 2: The One with the Jurassic honeymoon_

 

[Originally posted by jurassicparkfilms](https://tmblr.co/Z3aVVn1fF8iZn)

**Castiel: “I have the bad feeling this honeymoon’s gonna suck.”**

**Dean: “Come on! It’ll be awesome!”**

[Originally posted by deanisanactualprincess](https://tmblr.co/ZB9X1w1veQ2Ur)

**Castiel: “What are these eggs?”**

**Dr Vantoch: “We are breeding dinosaurs.”**

**Dean: “What? Like real dinosaurs?! Awesome!”**

**Castiel: *epic eyeroll***

[Originally posted by diablito666](https://tmblr.co/ZOj20w2I84eEA)

**“OH MY GOOOOOD!”**

[Originally posted by super-sootica](https://tmblr.co/Z1QNgo2Id-YoK)

**Castiel :“Dean. Promise me you’ll protect me!”**

[Originally posted by super-sootica](https://tmblr.co/Z1QNgo2Ijusa-)

**Dean : “Hide behind bars as you were trained by the SPN writers.”**

[Originally posted by itsokaysammy](https://tmblr.co/ZQ40gv2LZ3pqF)

**Dean:“Take this, you giant birds!”**

[Originally posted by brothersinsync](https://tmblr.co/ZR4o6w2CXak1u)

**Castiel:“Are they gone?”**

**Dean:“Area cleared.”**

[Originally posted by supernaturalbaesduh](https://tmblr.co/Z1Eocg2BEMkpd)

**Castiel:“I love you, my hero.”**


End file.
